6.20.23 Ayahuasca 1

I watched a small bee licking sweat from my arm. I called to Patrick but he wretched in the background. After the second dose, I moved under the awning. I leaned forward on my knees, hands over my face to hold back the medicine. The moment was so intense I begged God to let me purge. I lounged forward on my knees in the grass and purged with great heaving. I wiped my mouth, leaning forward again to hold in the energy. I begged again for relief from the intensity. I gathered myself upright to my knees. Music pulsed colors and patterns through my mind. As it eased slightly, God surrounded my entire being. I knew it was God.

The display was for me. A gift for my work. God told me I had done the work, and this was my reward. An unveiling of the truth. To witness and be shown everything that is. I had thought I would just work and work forever and never find relief, but the relief had come, and I was free to see.That I had earned my glimpse. I watched God speak to me through waves and pulses, revealing the universe of pattern and vibration that we all are. I could feel the flies and ants crawling over my body, yet I sat still as a statue as God shot through and filled my body, but I was not in my body. I was not in the yard on my knees. I was not on Earth or even in the universe. I was in the dimension of sound and light. I was within the dimension of creation, or at least the creation of light, sound, and color.

I cried, knowing that I had been given this gift. I cried that I had reached a new moment with God. I cried seeing truth, being truth, and feeling the acceptance of power so much greater than I. I vibrated yet did not move a muscle, I just watched in meditation and prayer. I wanted to say thank you but knew I did not have to. It was already known. And I was free for a very long time, and I witnessed my prize. A display of gifts and freedom. A magnitude of God I have never seen but have known was there.

I held it until it softened

and I opened my eyes

and walked out into the yard.